I’ve recently been visiting friends and family back home in California. Some have been living away from home since college, others have been living with their parents since. I still see similarities between us. Yet, I find those of my friends who’ve ventured far to make their own have changed so much over the years.
I found myself alone in a foreign country for the first time as a teenager. On my own in the uncomfortable world, I was forced to take responsibility for who I was and what I believed in for the first time in my life. It challenged me to make small bets on myself- that I could navigate between train stations, lose unhealthy friends, and ask for help. These murky waters enabled me to figure out who I was and not lose her. Sometimes I tested her, but I always respected her.
I often had to make judgment calls on the daily. I could not rely on the crutches of reassurance. The clarity from the lack of affirmation gave me the space to look inward. I could not lose my anchor, my identity, at the expense of survival. My identity was what kept me afloat and trust the decisions I made.
That’s the silver lining in the mud.
Sometimes we find our frequency by holding onto a moral bottom line in the midst of chaos. Sometimes we find it by breaking the rules and running the red light to get home.Matthew McConaughey, Greenlight
We have to be thrown off balance to find our footing.
We can choose to jump or fall.